Tainted Love

I was chatting on zoom to a girl I know, Erin, the other day. I was lonely and had asked her to meet up for a coffee but she didn’t want to meet me in person because she said her boyfriend, Gov, told her that I might be sick and make her sick too . I told her I’m not sick but she said Gov knows best so I agreed to the zoom cos it’s better than nothing .

So I was asking her how her mother is and she said she seems to be doing ok but it’s hard to know as she hadnt seen her in so long . I asked why not and she said because Gov cares so much about her mother that he doesn’t want Erin to visit her- in case she makes her sick . I said “Oh I didn’t know you were sick !” And she said that as far as she knows she’s not but just in case , Gov says it’s better to be safe .

I asked her how long does she think she’ll need to stay away from her aging mother “just in case” and she said she didn’t really know , but Gov would let her know when it’s safe to be with her Mam.

Then I asked her how was work going and she said that Gov arranged for her to give up work , in case she gets sick from meeting people or in case she makes them sick .

I asked her how was she taking care of her needs financially and she said things are fairly tight and it can be pretty hard on her but Gov said not to worry he’d take care of her as long as she trusts him and stands by him. She said that he always seems to have plenty of money so she’s not too worried .

I asked if she had chatted with anyone else about giving up work and she said that most of the people she knew agreed that it was the best thing to do – and they should know right? – because they all work for Gov. I asked if they had given up work too and she said no of course not because Govs business is so important they are all needed.

Erin didn’t look well .

She was trying to stay positive and upbeat but I could see that she was tired and worn out and there was a look of defeat in her eyes . I asked her how is her relationship with Gov and she said that it was grand at first but then she murmured something about it having lost its spark and not turning out the way she’d imagined or he’d promised , and him not seeming to care or ask what she thinks of anything .

I tried to draw her out on this but she quickly changed the subject and said “Oh don’t mind me , I’m just being negative , Gov says if I stand by him and have faith in him things will definitely get better “ .

She went on to tell me that Gov has been speaking to some very important people who have found a way to make sure she doesn’t get sick or make anyone else sick .

She said that he has to use her savings to pay these people for the special medicine but not to worry as they would be “looking after him” once their medicine sales get moving .

I asked who the people are and when she mentioned their name I got a fright because many years ago I had read about the same people being involved in very serious crimes against humans – and that they had to pay very big fines for the damage .

I told her this and she laughed and told me not to be so dramatic and that Gov knows them and he wouldn’t deal with people like that .

I mentioned the very positive effect proper nutrition and lifestyle has on health so that medicine might not be needed and she said “Ah shur all that nature stuff goes over my head and anyway Gov said it’s all pseudoscience so I’ll just stick with what the professionals say “

I asked if Gov was there and she said no that he is rarely there because he’s always out and about flying around the world doing his very important work .

So she says she thinks she’ll be able to get out and about more herself when Govs friends give her the medicine. She said that because he wants to be sure she actually takes it (because he knows how she can get ) he will ask his friends for written proof .

I asked if he’d be taking the medicine himself and she said she thinks so but not sure and she supposes thats his own private business .
I asked her if she was looking forward to getting out and about again and she says she really is and even better , Gov has come up with a way of making sure she is always safe and protected by him .

I said “Wow! Gov really is on the ball, how will he do that ?”

She said he has arranged to be able to see where she is at all times, who she is with , what she is doing. She says he can even record what she likes and doesn’t like so that he can learn more about her, so that he can protect and care for her more.

And he said that the world is such a dangerous place it’s likely that he’ll need to get her more and more medicine to keep her from getting sick and in case she forgets , his new recording method would keep her clear on what she needs to be doing by not letting her do other stuff unless she has everything she’s meant to do done right .

She said she’s a dither head anyway and clueless about all this new modern scientific stuff , she has enough to be thinking about just getting through the day so she’s happy to leave all that stuff to him . And she said apart from that , she knew that the way she used to behave had caused a lot of suffering to others , even people she’d never met and that is the last thing she wants to do , so even though sometimes she feels a bit panicky about it all (“and maybe even a bit trapped” she said under her breath ) she could never forgive herself if she caused any more suffering than she already had .


At the end of the call I felt like I had just witnessed a premonition of Erins future with Gov that really disturbed me . But she was so resolute in her faith in him I could see that nothing I said now would change that . In fact any kind of questioning of his motives made her very defensive of him . So I just told her “Hey , you do what feels right for you “ and “if you ever need me , I’m here “ and I said goodbye to my friend hoping that some day she might give me a call and say “Can you come pick me up , I’m out of here” ❤️

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